What ifs

FB bumped a post today -exactly two years ago I headed with my then 4 month old and nearly 2.5 year old to my parents to stay with them for few weeks, get some help, get some sleep, give a chance for my hubby to catch up on sleep when we were gone.

Two years later and everything had changed. Everything bar that me plus kids bit.

What if I didn’t go? Would I still be in the place I am today. I don’t like it here. I didn’t like it last year neither but at least last year A had a dad she could ring.

I’m upset. And angry. And disappointed.

Maybe if I didn’t go back then things would have not turned out the way they did.

Maybe if I didn’t go back then I would not have been this lonely now.

What if it is all because of me…

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